Ask a Local

Do you recall the skits on the Dave Chappelle Show with Paul Mooney? Well, this is going to be totally different, in that I will share observations by local folks unfamiliar with American culture. This is the first installment in a continuing series.

Question 1: What does the sign say?

Dave is watching RAW (pro-wrestling) with various members of our host family. The patriarch sees a sign in the crowd and translates it for the others: “Batista est noir.” (The sign read, “Batista is back”)

Question 2: Who is that?

Dave gives a copy of an American newspaper from January 2009 to one of his colleagues (they want the newspapers for functional uses, like wrapping hot food). There are two pictures of Steve Jobs on the cover, showing him before the rapid weight loss and after. Dave’s colleague asks who it is and he explains that it’s the chef of a computer company and that he has lost weight due to illness. His colleague asks Dave to tell Steve Jobs that she wishes him “bonne reétablissement!” (“Get well soon!”)

Question 3: Who is that? pt 2

Dave again gives a copy of an American newspaper to a colleague. Inside the pages there’s a picture of Bruce Springsteen. His colleague asks if that is a musician. Surprised, Dave confirms the colleague’s conjecture and tells her he is a famous man. The colleague asks, “That’s a man?”


Question 4: Not really a question, as Dave points out

Dave is training a colleague on how to use a computer. They power up the laptop and the Windows welcome screen appears, with the word bienvenue. Dave’s colleague excitedly replies to the computer, “Merci!”

Question 5: Who do I resemble?

Coming home one day, one of my neighbors, a high school student who is also in my English club, stopped me on my bike saying, “I found someone who looks like you in the American magazine you gave me.” I inwardly sighed, thinking it was just going to be an Asian woman, and when she produced the magazine, it was… Kristi Yamaguchi! What a shocker. My neighbor then turned the page and said, “And he looks like tonton (“uncle”) David!” The picture was of Ben Affleck. Then, a few weeks later, the same neighbor approached Dave with another American magazine and said, “This man looks like you!” It was Matthew McConaghey.